Healing Our Divisions: A Personal Story

by Ben Jealous

The State of Our Union

With the holiday season approaching, it seems that our country could not be more divided. That division has been perhaps the main overarching topic of our national conversation in recent years. And it has taken root within many of our own families.

Blood may be thicker than water, but for many American families it seems like it is not as thick as politics. Or, if not politics specifically, then the cultural rifts that have been widened and inflamed within our political debate.

A Personal Story of Division and Healing

Maybe our national healing can start with our families, around the holiday table. There are mixed views within my own family, just like there are in millions of American families. And within my family there are stories of division and stories of healing.

My family traces its roots in America on my dad’s side back 400 years to Massachusetts – the home of the first Thanksgiving. My mom’s family has also been here the better part of 400 years, but in Virginia and Maryland, tracing back to that area’s earliest white settlers and their African slaves.

A Family’s History of Division and Healing

When my parents fell in love as young civil rights activists in Baltimore and got married, their marriage was illegal in Maryland. Their relationship was taboo at the time. My father’s family disowned him for marrying a Black woman and he lost his inheritance.

So, I grew up on America’s racial fault line. And learning about my own family’s history has provided an important perspective on the nature of division both within the family itself and the country – our big, messy American family.

Uncovering Our Common Heritage

Using DNA research to trace my own family’s origins, I discovered that like President Barack Obama, I am distant cousins with former Vice President Dick Cheney. That revelation was interesting. But the revelation that I am also distant cousins with Robert E. Lee was a little harder to swallow. I was the youngest ever national president of the NAACP. He was the Confederate general who essentially fought to preserve the institution of slavery.

A Story of Coming Together

The Civil War itself was a conflict that famously divided families. “Brother against brother” is a phrase commonly used to describe those divisions that emerged within many American families, especially in the border states like my home state of Maryland.

And after the Civil War, America’s divisions certainly did not go away. But there are inspiring stories of coming together as well that simply have not been told as much as the stories of division and oppression.

My grandmother’s grandfather was at the center of one of those stories. In the years immediately following Reconstruction, Edward David Bland – who had been born into slavery – led Virginia’s Black Republicans into coalition with former white Confederate soldiers to form a third party that took over the Virginia state government.

A Call to Action

That is just one story that illustrates how as a country we have managed to work through our divisions and move forward. We have common ground. We just need to look for it. And it should not be that difficult to search for and find that common ground within our own families.

Families can be great composites of many different backgrounds and experiences, just like America itself. And just like America, there can also be room for different viewpoints within families.

Most of us want the same things: a better life for our children, safe communities, good schools, freedom. That we might have different perspectives on what some of these things mean does not make for insurmountable differences. Instead, it begs for conversation and ultimately understanding of why we see things differently. Because whether our ancestors arrived as settlers or immigrants, were enslaved or were among this land’s Indigenous peoples, what we have in common is we are all in the same boat now. Whether we sink or float, it will be together. And to truly thrive, we must heal our divisions. Within our own families is as good a place as any to start.

Conclusion

Healing our divisions will not be easy, but it is essential. By looking within our own families and communities, we can find common ground and work towards a more united future.

FAQs

* What is the key to healing our divisions?
+ Finding common ground and having open and honest conversations with those who may have different perspectives.
* How can we start healing our divisions?
+ Within our own families and communities, by looking for and acknowledging our shared values and goals.
* What are some inspiring stories of coming together?
+ The story of Edward David Bland and the Readjusters, who formed a bipartisan, multiracial movement in Virginia after the Civil War.