As a 35-year-old woman, I was living a seemingly perfect life. I was famous, successful, and had a thriving business. But behind the façade, I was hiding a deadly secret: I was addicted to cocaine.
I started experimenting with drugs when I was 15, and it became my escape from emotional pain. As my career took off, I found myself consuming more and more cocaine to feel good, to feel confident, to feel alive. I was convinced that with each line, I was invincible, untouchable, and powerful. But the high was short-lived, and the crash was brutal.
I would wake up in the morning, feeling like I’d been hit by a truck. My body aching, my mind foggy, and my soul exhausted. I would stumble through the day, trying to function, trying to hide my addiction from the world. And then, the cycle would start all over again.
I was a high-functioning addict, able to hold down a successful business and maintain a social life, but I was secretly struggling with the consequences of my addiction. I would take cocaine to do the housework, to give me energy to work on my business, or to get ready for a night out. I was desperate for the next fix, and I would do anything to get it.
But the addiction crept up on me slowly, and before I knew it, I was in trouble. I had a mini-stroke, caused by a blockage of blood flow to the brain, and was given blood thinners to take long-term. The doctor’s warning was clear: "You were lucky this time, but you can’t do drugs ever again."
I thought I could quit, but I couldn’t. The addiction was stronger than my willpower. I didn’t know how to stop, and I didn’t know how to start. I was trapped in a cycle of addiction and secrecy, and I didn’t know how to escape.
It wasn’t until I hit rock bottom, losing my business, my relationships, and my sense of self-worth, that I realized I needed help. I went to an outpatient rehab facility and learned that addiction is our way of masking trauma and pain. I realized that I was craving a dopamine hit and that I needed to find a way to numb my feelings of low self-worth and self-hatred.
I started therapy twice a week, deleted the dealers’ numbers, and stopped seeing friends who liked to party. I re-established my business, and the light in my eyes came back. I got sober in my forties, quitting cocaine and booze, and have never felt better.
My message is this: take my story as a warning. There is a reason why half of Hollywood is sober. The high you feel from cocaine is the biggest fraud there is. Stick to coffee instead.
Conclusion:
My story is a testament to the devastating effects of addiction and the importance of seeking help. I was lucky to have found a way out of my addiction, but I know that many others are not as fortunate. I want to urge those struggling with addiction to seek help, to talk to someone, and to never give up.
FAQs:
- What is the warning signs of cocaine addiction?
- How can I seek help for addiction?
- What are the long-term effects of cocaine use?
- How can I maintain sobriety and avoid relapse?
I hope that my story can inspire others to seek help and to take control of their lives. Remember, there is no shame in seeking help, and there is no shame in being vulnerable.