Ice-T and Coco Austin celebrate 22nd anniversary at Hustler Club — despite parking mishap

Jiggles & a Giant pickle

Holiday hoopla’s gone. Presents returned, tinsel repacked, Christmas trees are toothpicks and Santa’s scratching for work.

Meanwhile, Ice-T and the missus Coco Austin celebrated 22 wedded years at Noel Ashman’s Hustler Club.

Stuck in West Side Highway traffic and 45 minutes late, the guy ended up parking quick. Like, only half his car. Also right on the sidewalk. And directly in front of the entrance.

Jumping out, he tossed its startled doorman the keys — plus a C-note — to re-park legally.

Other celebs attended contact sports of a different kind.

Natalie Portman, now starring with Julianne Moore in “May December,” was at the Giants game. In a VIP private suite.

Plus her son and his friend. Plus the husband whom reports report she’s having what’s graciously being reported as “issues.”

She inhaled Diet Pepsi. Hair, casual but she seemed not to care.

Wardrobe: bright red jacket the team gave her. Food experts might sniff at her main meal. It was pickles. 

Living (again) in the Limelight

Remember once upon a Limelight nightclub? Well, forget it.

The building began 1844, 20th and Sixth, as the Church of Holy Communion. In 1983, it osmosed into a ginmill.

1995 it became a target of then-Mayor Rudy Giuliani’s “Quality of Life” campaign. Got shut down. Padlocked. Reopened, but forever not. It last gasped 2007.

Now? To be a 320-seat off-Broadway theater. Producer Hunter Arnold, director Michael Arden, film distributor Roadside Attractions are its geniuses.

Marvel Architects designed two levels. Theatergoers get a circular stage, dressing rooms on floor 3. Plus, on its 21,000 square feet — four bars.

They want to create “a cultural institution with high-quality entertainment.” That’s with four slots for big-time boozers.

When it will absolutely open — who knows. For sure it’ll beat Mrs. Biden’s next touch-up.

That’s a loo-k

This, verbatim, from a 1999 Times of London article: “A visitor to Princess Diana’s apartment at Kensington Palace shortly before she died claimed that Di decorated her loo with 13 framed cartoons of Camilla Parker Bowles. A typical cartoon depicts an Argentine athlete taking a drug test with the caption, ‘Charles should be taking the drug test if he thinks Camilla is good looking.’ ”

Do NOT! Pick on me. I’m just reporting.

Please love me

Blubber Biden. Forget him reading his prewritten blarney. This BSer was never a healer. Or sealer. Just a wheeler-dealer.

Never accomplished spit. Nada. The man can’t accomplish anything. He wanted only, solely, strictly all his life to become president. His lifetime dream.

He basically doesn’t give a fig what happens. He got what he wants. Enough bread for his family. And to get to play president.

Centuries back, Al D’Amato married — again — (since divorced, again) at LI’s Oheka Castle.

My table was alongside Biden’s. Not super-VIP then, but he was craving attention.

The man preened, postured, posed for photos. A busboy held a toy camera, slo-mo Joe did a photo. All he ever wanted was to be important.

Golden Globes: Those low necklines showed the real meaning of Golden Globes. And that super-tight Spanx? Great if you don’t care about blood pressure below the waist. Also, forget that the newest things in women’s hairdos appeared to be men.

Only in these movie awards shows, kids, only in these movie awards shows.