‘Lisa Frankenstein’ review: High-school monster mush

Nobody will leave writer Diablo Cody’s new horror-comedy “Lisa Frankenstein” shouting “it’s alive!” 

“It’s amusing,” maybe.

The “Juno” scribe’s wacky contribution to the litany of riffs on Mary Shelley’s novel — from Boris Karloff to “Young Frankenstein” and “Frankenweenie” — makes the gothic tale into an 1980s teen sex comedy.

Not a bad idea — and one that already worked out pretty well for John Hughes’ “Weird Science” in 1985. But here it’s a single-joke skit that’s too self-aware to be distinctively funny, freaky or thrilling.

Our Dr. Frankenstein is Lisa Swallows (Kathryn Newton), a high school outcast whose mother died and who now lives with a monotonous dad (Joe Chrest), a cruel stepmom Janet (Carla Gugino) and a popular stepsister named Taffy (Liza Soberano) who is both supportive and atrocious. 

Loner Lisa whiles away the hours grimly lounging on her favorite hunky gravestone in the town cemetery. One day, she casually wishes aloud she could “be with” its dearly departed inhabitant.

When lightning strikes the plot of land during a storm, a muddy, unintelligible, walking corpse shows up at Lisa’s suburban doorstep. She’s briefly alarmed by the terrifying sight and the pair get into a brawl, but soon enough they’re the best of friends. 

Up in her bedroom, the Creature (Cole Sprouse of “Riverdale”) indicates to Lisa that he would like her to source some new body parts. She dryly responds, “You’re a dead man, not a Chrysler LeBaron.” 

Nevertheless, through a series of murders, they go limb shopping — killing people who’ve wronged Lisa and chopping off whatever flesh they need. 

In the film’s most clever touch, each time a new hand or ear is sewn on, the Creature lies down in a broken tanning bed in the garage to be electrocuted.

That Lisa is instantly so chummy with this dreamy cadaver speeds up the movie but drags down the story. She’s bizarrely nonchalant about a monster in her midst and totally ambivalent about the grisly deaths. Lisa — all adjectives, no drive — evolves into a somehow less-involving Wednesday Addams.

Like Frankenstein’s monster, many aspects of director Zelda Williams’ movie are crudely assembled into a confused whole. 

For example, Cody tosses in a strange scene involving the Creature and a sex toy that gets a giant “huh?” and adds nothing. Is it there for humor? Does it deepen the duo’s relationship? Who knows? And not really.

Sprouse, who spends 99% of the movie grunting and groaning, becomes better-looking with every shock treatment. He leaves no impression, good or bad, but he’s not allowed to. The reanimated Victorian gent’s a houseplant. 

Newton, on the other hand, makes a charming weirdo; an updated Winona Ryder in “Beetlejuice.” If only Lisa was as intriguing as the actress playing her.