Meghan Markle isn’t an ‘influential woman,’ she’s a grifter

Archewell, the philanthropic foundation of Prince Harry and Meghan Markle, has a simple mission: “Show Up, Do Good.”

The jury is still out about the second part of that statement.

But we now understand just how the environmental crusaders do show up — in private jets paid for by other wealthy, influential people. And when they arrive, there always seems to be sprawling homes, owned by the rich and famous, where they can rest their heads.

Their latest free jaunt came Tuesday, on a 10-seat Bombardier Challenger 605 to Vancouver, chartered by a local private aviation company, according to a Page Six report where multiple sources spoke of the couple’s alligator arms.

“They certainly don’t like to spend their own money,” one insider said. Added another: “It’s always other people’s money.”

Theirs is a solid strategy for amassing personal wealth — and ensuring they always have a ride to the next glitzy concert, movie premiere or charity dinner to pick up yet another empty award.

Life is, indeed, a gift.

No longer working royals, Harry and Meghan are now simply full-fledged celebrities, who, in the immortal and frequently uttered words of Kamala Harris, are “unburdened by what has been.”

The couple is no longer bound by the House of Windsor’s stringent rules around freebies and presents. Last updated in 2002, those guidelines state that “no gifts, including hospitality or services, should be accepted which would, or might appear to, place the member of the royal family under any obligation to the donor.”

The Sussexes now are free to take whatever adheres to their sticky white gloves — gratis stays in luxury homes, free private flights, beautiful jewels. The world is their oyster. But that oyster is riddled by hypocrisy.

Just this week, they unveiled their regal rebrand on the new Sussex.com: “The Office of Prince Harry & Meghan The Duke and Duchess of Sussex,” it reads, beneath the coat of arms of the United Kingdom.

That’s a shameless move, considering the duo ditched the monarchy in 2020 and agreed to not use their titles online to tout any new endeavors. But hey, the queen is gone and King Charles, sadly, has more pressing matters — like his health.

Harry and Meghan want to live high on the hog, off the fumes of their royal titles and be the toast of Tinseltown. But they want none of the duty and service to the crown.

Their web site itself is an exhausting obstacle course of fluffy, meaningless new age jargon and unbridled self-praise. For instance, Prince Harry’s page notes his memoir, “Spare,” is “told with compassion, vulnerability, and unflinching honesty” if he does say so himself.

Markle’s bio is an incredible feat — the online equivalent of erecting a towering bronze statue in Montecito. So packed with personal humanitarian accomplishments it would make Mother Teresa blush.

“She has been named one of the most influential women in the world,” crows the 11-paragraph novella. It then leaves no passport stamp, accolade or resumé bullet point unmentioned, from Meghan’s college semester abroad in Madrid to her inane lifestyle blog “the Tig.”

We now know she didn’t win her sixth-grade spelling bee — otherwise, it would have been listed.

The few omissions? Self-awareness, humility and a sense of humor.

Among the more bizarre lines is one calling her a “major advocate” for “family care” — a phrase that effectively means nothing, but is eyebrow-raising considering her own careless disregard for family.

Remember, she managed to invite George Clooney and Oprah to her wedding yet, in terms of relatives, only her mother made the list. Nary a cousin, aunt, uncle, let alone her estranged father. Not to mention Harry’s shattered relationship with his father and brother.

All that money the Sussexes don’t want to spend, they “earned” by publicly trashing his family.

it’s strange that Meghan and Harry want to cling to kin they’ve only shown contempt. Folks they’ve painted as uncaring racists who rejected her desperate pleas for help and sent her running from the UK. Cruel, terrible humans so irredeemable, they needed to be exposed on a special with Oprah.

And yet … association with the royals provides the ultimate cache.

Harry and Meghan want it both ways. Here’s a more fitting motto for their new site: All grift, no duty.