People celebrate Thanksgiving around the world — and they have more than just turkey

Food festivals cropping up

Back when Korea’s leader was skinny its Thanksgiving was Chuseok. Began 2,000 years ago 15th August, first day of the harvest moon.

Ancient kingdom Silla gave out rice cakes, which definitely beats a turkey’s dry white meat.

To end sugar cane season Barbados’ 300-year-old tradition competes in climbing up a greased pole. Why? Who knows? But it beats stuffing stuffing into your stuffy uncle Thursday . . . Borneo honors goddess Huminodun who got sacrificed to prevent famine. Shame to knock her over when rice is so cheap . . . India’s Tamil thanks the Sun God four days with milk, ghee and rice. Ghee? Wow!

After a 16th century famine, some in Ghana do Homowo, which — if chatting in their native Ga — means “hooting at hunger” . . . Canada’s Thanksgiving predates ours with salt beef, peas, biscuits, minced pork, turkey, veal (maybe Tums?) in a meat pie . . . Nov. 23 in Japan it’s — as we all know — Kinro Kansha No Hi . . . Austria has Erntedankfest. What they do besides pronouncing that, who knows . . . Our Pilgrims made an earlier pit stop in Holland so they maybe stick some wooden shoe in a dike somewhere.

China’s Emperor Xuanzong lit paper lanterns in the Moon Palace. Tang Dynasty. That was before they began making fentanyl . . . Rarely comes up in conversation but pumpkins are big in Mexico. November it’s whatever’s pumpkin empanadas . . . Sweden. Buttery breadcrumbs, Parmesan cheese, Hasselback potatoes sliced into wedges joined at the bottom to shape for some unknown reason like an accordion. 

Dishing it out

Cuba. Congri: beans and rice. Cheap, convenient. Signature gray shade. Adding onion, bell pepper, garlic, cumin, oregano, even the eaters turn gray . . . Italy? Pasta, onion chunks, carrot, ground meat, assorted veggies, tomato sauce. Two helpings and you lay flat till Columbus Day . . . England? Turkey meatloaf with fig gravy . . . Ethiopia? It’s doro wat. Heavy duty spicy stew: lime juice, hard boiled eggs, chicken, chicken stock, dry red wine, ginger, cardamom, butter, chili powder. Needs parts for the meal. Only a repairman can fix it. 

Get stuffed

Vietnam. Tet Trung Thu festival. Worshipping ancestors. Also the moon. Also lion dancing. Also children parading with lanterns. Also round banh bao (steamed buns) and banh xeo (Vietnamese crepes). Also whatever’s mooncakes (caterer: Elon Musk) . . . Brazil? Dia de Acao de Gracas. They do what we do — turkey, stuffing, pumpkin pie, sweet potatoes, big-time sweet cakes. Their kids rise in the yeast.

Ghana’s Volta region does Asogli Te Za. I mean, don’t we all? It’s Thanksgiving to gods and ancestors. Also they ban funerals. Also hot potatoes get sprinkled around shrines which is a great idea for DC.

Being a day for turkeys and hams, Kim Kar­dashian will flash her ash in eight newspapers, Ratajkowski will uncover her back crack, Affleck’s Lopez may cook for a hungry retoucher and Donald will tell Biden-Biden-who is slidin’ that it’s the first day of summer.

Taking the holiday off. Love to you all. See you again Monday.