Recalling an unfortunate Kennedy run-in at the ’96 Democratic convention

How to address the nation

Always some Kennedy running or hustling for some office someplace. I’m remembering a specific convention. Never will I forget it. Or forgive it.

The ’90s. Democratic convention in Chicago. I’m Mayor David Dinkins’ date. Summertime. Everyone perspiring. Boiling broiling hot. Because who cared about Chicago or Democrats, my cotton designer dress was nice, chic — but old.

David introduced me to Robert and Ethel Kennedy’s daughter Kathleen. She was Maryland’s Lt. Gov. Went by Kennedy Townsend. Just another of the clan whose entire career is hustling for some other election.

Me, so sweet and charming you could die from it. She — never having met me before, never having seen me before — peered at me — then — first and only words out of her were ones I still remember exactly. They’re probably now engraved on my stomach. All this forked tongue clacked to me was — and I quote her exactly:

“You still wearing that stupid thing? It’s a long ago old dress? I once had it. Same thing. It was from some designer but I threw it out long ago.”

Gaggle gag order

QUESTION: Why’s there always a squadron of creatures hovering behind some designated screecher or whoever’s grabbed the mike and standing stiff, bug-eyed, spitting into a TV mike. Why?

Where’s this chorus of extras come from? When not working their phones, those loosely connected background heads keep nodding yes to whatever merde the speaker’s sputtering. They stay nodding “yes” long after the speaker’s gone to inhale warm leftover room temperature tuna salad at some other fund-raiser.

House hunters

GIULIANI. Facing big bucks bills in Georgia — doesn’t have $148 million laying around. Selling off Lenox Hill apartment that his lawyers say Sotheby’s assessed at $5 mil. Sale in process, takes time. But creditors coming for more mayoral real estate. He says his Palm Beach property is needed for his podcasting and he’s using “sound business judgment” keeping the $3.5 million condo to “grow his broadcast income,” avoiding renting a recording studio.

Spare thoughts

I offer today shreds of wisdom. I haven’t lots of it left, so pay attention:

Definition of a progressive: “A Democrat who’s given up all hope of ever being a capitalist.”

Guest list closed

THIEVES? Robbers? They’re amateurs compared to politicians. I first met Hillaryin ’93. She, first lady, was hosting lunch in the White House. It was right after Donaldmarried Marla. And all — all Hillary wanted — all —was to hear about that wedding. Who was there, what did Donald say, etc.

Time — divorces and politics — march on. She is now trashing him.

RYAN Gosling is in “The Fall Guy.” Co-stars Emily Blunt and Hannah Waddingham.

Gosling: “Since my action-adventure TV show ‘Young Hercules,’ I’ve had a stunt double. Always this strange dynamic where they do all the heavy duty stuff then hide and we pretend like we did it. They’ve made actors into movie stars forever. Some favorite film scenes are made by stunt people.”

Great. Let’s stick some on the campaign trail. We could put Mortimer Snerd into the White House.

But not only in New York, kids, not only in New York.